Loss

walked with you in an ALS rally
after I had locked my keys in my car

saw you a few times
after they told me you were sick

you looked fine
you looked good

I couldn't see anything wrong with you

*

finally, I would call you
ask if you could still drive a car

and I invited you to visit me
so we could spend some time together

and you would say, why
so I'd have a new tv to watch for a while

I didn't want this to happen to you,
I swear

your family watch lupus take a loved one
and now ALS consumes you

your mind is just fine
that's what the doctors tell me

it's just that your nervous system
is breaking you down cellularly

and your crystal clear, sharp mind
has to stand by and watch yourself fall apart

I know this is rare
but it's progressive, degenerative, fatal

and watching you go through this
increasing and spreading muscular weakness

as you live through your days now
I imagine hearing your heartbeat

like the flapping of hummingbird wings
under water

I know I'm not the one suffering
but I am

*

I know I've lived through hell
but it's not fair that I survived

just to watch this happen to you

*

went to a funeral today
and saw you there

wheelchair bound, slurred speech
thin as a rail

but still smiling when you saw me
and I had to smile and small talk with you

with you, who could barely speak
and I had to act like everything was okay

your friend held your cigarette outside with you
put the cigarette to your lips

so you could inhale, then he pulled it away
to wait for your next breath

*

I couldn't stay at the funeral too long
today I had seen too much death

Submited by

Wednesday, May 4, 2011 - 13:34

Poesia :

Your rating: None (1 vote)

ccandd96

ccandd96's picture
Offline
Title: Membro
Last seen: 4 years 41 weeks ago
Joined: 05/03/2011
Posts:
Points: 1041

Add comment

Login to post comments

other contents of ccandd96

Topic Title Replies Views Last Postsort icon Language
Fotos/People Marty flipping off a beach ball while diving into a Palos Park swimming pool 0 2.436 05/31/2011 - 15:58 English
Fotos/Monuments Marie Laveau's Tomb in New Orleans LA 0 10.744 05/31/2011 - 15:56 English
Fotos/Nature a Mangled Tree Stump in Wyoming 0 3.642 05/31/2011 - 15:53 English
Fotos/Nature Ducks on the water in Nashville TN 10/28/05 0 2.298 05/31/2011 - 15:51 English
Fotos/Nature Mallards at the water (Heather Ridge, Gurnee IL) 04/17/05 0 2.169 05/31/2011 - 15:44 English
Fotos/Art a lighthouse in Maine (colored, in rough pastels) 0 2.374 05/31/2011 - 15:36 English
Fotos/Others a building in Luxembourg at night 0 9.006 05/31/2011 - 15:34 English
Fotos/Others downtown Los Angeles 0 2.816 05/31/2011 - 15:32 English
Fotos/Art Lori looking out to the water (in Michigan, on the beach at Lake Michigan) 0 2.306 05/31/2011 - 15:30 English
Fotos/Art Lisa on a Pier (Naples FL) 0 2.713 05/31/2011 - 15:28 English
Fotos/Art a "Laura Palmer" styled photo of Janet Kuypers, colored in pencil 0 3.493 05/31/2011 - 15:26 English
Fotos/Monuments an Egyptian Monument in Las Vegas 0 18.672 05/31/2011 - 15:23 English
Fotos/Nature a Sea Lion on the Galapagos Islands (at Bachas Beach, at Baltra Island 12/24/07) 0 2.646 05/31/2011 - 15:21 English
Fotos/Others a Los Angeles street band 0 2.812 05/31/2011 - 15:19 English
Fotos/Art a Kiss 0 2.560 05/31/2011 - 15:17 English
Fotos/Art Kiss 0 3.939 05/31/2011 - 15:16 English
Fotos/Photojournalism The Kinzua bridge in Mount Jewett, PA (photographed 09/04/09), destroyed by a tornado in 2003 0 4.392 05/31/2011 - 14:00 English
Fotos/Photojournalism one of the houses after hurricane Katrina (New Orleans, LA) 0 2.845 05/31/2011 - 13:57 English
Fotos/Others Katie (the black cat) 0 2.205 05/31/2011 - 13:55 English
Fotos/Others Kaiser and Sose (two cats in Denver, Colorado) 0 2.483 05/31/2011 - 13:51 English
Fotos/People Janet, Jumping (on a Bed) 0 3.437 05/31/2011 - 13:49 English
Fotos/Others John Galt (the white cat, "Johnny") on a bookshelf 0 3.603 05/31/2011 - 13:47 English
Fotos/People Joel in the pool 0 2.957 05/31/2011 - 13:45 English
Fotos/People Joel in the Grass 0 2.777 05/31/2011 - 13:44 English
Fotos/People Joel as James Dean 0 3.968 05/31/2011 - 13:35 English